


Kill or Die

by Eien_no_Tsuki



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Hunger Games Setting, F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-03
Updated: 2018-04-19
Packaged: 2019-02-10 03:57:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 12,329
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12903495
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Eien_no_Tsuki/pseuds/Eien_no_Tsuki
Summary: In a cruel world, where life was nothing but a bet, he fought for the freedom that was taken away from him.





	1. The Reaping

**Author's Note:**

> English is not my first language, so I hope you can excuse my mistakes. If you could point them out, that'd be highly appreciated.

He heard the gunshot.

He ran desperately, dodging all of the traps the other tributes had put to kill anyone that would fall on to that. His bow and arrow on his hands, ready to attack if necessary.

Another gunshot.

His angst rising, he was sweating, he was sweating cold, scared.

He ran, without hesitating, non-stop. One foot in front of the other, moving his legs as fast as his wounds let him, his heart beating faster, his anxiety trying to control him.

“No, It can’t be. No. No. She is fine, she is stronger than me.” he tried to confort his own self, breathing erratically.

He kept running, watching as the forest was burning in flames, taking a glimpse of those two bloodthirsty tributes attacking one another.

One more gunshot.

And then another, and then another. 

He felt his heart fall to the pit of his stomach, breaking to pieces with each gunshot. He tried to push his fear away, but at this point, he couldn’t, he couldn’t. He was scared, on the verge of crying. No, he was crying.

His sight was clouded by the smoke and his own tears. His ears hurting, he could barely hear the cracking sound of the flames that were burning everything to ashes, and his skin was burning, and it hurt. He had several burns, but he didn’t stop, he didn’t stop. He kept running, as fast as he could just to find her.

He whistled that Melody they agreed to, four simple notes. He heard the mockingjays repeating it, the sound becoming more and more faint, and he was waiting for her to answer.

“Please, answer, please, for the love of god, answer.” he prayed.

He heard the faint sound of her answer above all of the tragedy, and with a spark of hope, he ran and ran, without hesitating, without stopping, as fast as he could until he found her. She was laying on her back, over the floor. A dead tree was crushing her legs. He tried to hold back his cries, his need to break down on the floor and cry, to stay calm, to keep his own sanity, if there was any left.

He tried to push the tree off her, feeling how his own hands were burning, pushing with all the strength he had left, until her faint, serene voice stopped him.

“Please, just go, there is no more time left.” she pleaded him. 

He shook his head. “No, no, no, of course there is time, cut off your bullshit.” he was on the verge of breaking down, trying to push the tree away, with all the strength he had left.

“Eren, please, run, please stay safe. There is only the both of us left and only one can be the victor.” she spoke. 

Eren kneeled on her side, taking her weak wounded hand as softly as he could not to hurt her. 

She reached out to touch his face with her free hand, caressing his cheek, and the contact was burning, it was hurting him, even more than his wounds, than his burns. 

He swiftly took her hand between his own hands, tugging it. “Don’t be stupid, Mikasa, we’ll find a way, we’ll get out of here.”

“Eren, please, take care of Armin, please don’t let him starve, don’t let him hunt and take him with you to your new home, winner.” with her words, all the sanity left him and broke down to cry in front of her.

“No, we are gonna get back home, as we planned, we’ll live a normal happy life, and we will be playing by the lake, and help mom and see how Armin becomes a successful doctor, and I’ll mess with Jean and you will scold me for doing it. You can’t leave me, Mikasa,” he begged. “You can’t leave me like this.”

“Goodbye, Eren.” She smiled to him for the last time before she closed her onyx eyes, falling into eternal sleep.

And he heard the last gunshot, it pierced his ears. His heart completely broken to pieces. That gunshot that should had sound like a victory, but it only sounded like shame. The fire went out, her limp body disappeared and everything was fading to black. The sound of people celebrating his victory was fading, even his own heartbeat was fading.

“No!” he screamed when he woke up. He felt two arms surrounding him, softly tugging him and calming him with the warmth of a body lying next to him. He couldn’t see a thing (an old habit Mikasa had since she moved in to the Jaeger’s household, sleeping without a light on)

“another nightmare?” she asked as she was caressing his hair, lulling him back to sleep. 

“I’m fine,” he assured as he took her arms off him. “go back to sleep on your bed, mom is gonna ground us if she finds you here.”

“But, we have done this ever since we were kids, Eren. There is nothing wrong with this.” She expressed as she was holding his hand. He took it away immediately, as if her touch burned him.

“I know but… it is just different.”

“Different how?” she asked.

“I don’t know, Mikasa, just go to sleep, we need to wake up early tomorrow, you know what day it is.” he snapped. 

She got up from his bed, heading towards her own. “Is that the reason why you act like this?” she asked, lying in bed. There was no answer, he was too proud to admit he was scared. 

He didn’t answer, and she didn’t insist. He closed his eyes, hoping to get some sleep and not having any other thoughts again.

x.x.x.x

He woke up the next morning, Carla shook him gently. He opened his eyes to focus his sight on his mother, who was looking at him with sad eyes.

“Remember, today…” she couldn’t finish the sentence. She touched his face gently.  
“I know, I’m goona go hunting.” he answered with no expression, taking her hands off his face.

He got up to pull out his bow and arrows from under his bed, turning his sight to Mikasa’s empty bed for a moment. “Shut must’ve gone earlier.” he thought.

“Be careful, remember many soldiers are going to be supervising the supervising the walls.” she reminded him. 

Eren ignored her, heading out of the house without saying goodbye.

He ran to the south, where there was a door that was never supervised. As expected, there was no one there, there were no cameras. There was nothing but a few dead trees and dried grass.

He walked carefully, trying not to make any kind of noise. Mikasa was the first thing he saw as soon as he got out of the walls. She was standing quietly, focused with her bow and arrow ready to shoot at a deer that was drinking water from the lake.

“Hey!” he screamed, scaring the raven-haired girl, who shot accidentally, scaring the animal in the process.

“Eren! that was the first one I’ve seen in months.” she whined, sitting under the tree. She took her knees to her chest, hugging her legs.

“It was too small anyways, we should let it grow.” He sat next to her, laying his head back, resting it on the trunk, feeling the fresh breeze. It was a contrast to the hot weather inside the walls. Almost as if it was another world as soon as they got out through that abandoned door.  
They both sat in silence, contemplating the calm, clear lake.  
Little ripples formed when leaves fell from the trees to the water, but the serenity of it never changed. The lake reminded him of Mikasa. She was always serene, she was calm. Even when her world was falling apart, she would always stay quiet, it was the complete opposite of him. He always lost control, no matter the situation. He was like the fire, only a small spark was enough to light up, burning everything to flames.

“What was that… that dream you had last night?” she asked. It shook him out of his thoughts.

“It was nothing.”

“You know you can tell me.” she insisted with her gaze on Eren, who had tears streaming down to his cheeks. “why are you crying?”

“I… I dreamt that me and you got picked at the reaping.” he confessed feeling a knot at the pit of his stomach. 

Mikasa turned her gaze to the ground. “I am sure we won’t.” she tried to comfort.

“How can you be so sure?”

“I just know, we will be okay”

They both stayed in silence, staring at the mockingjays that were posing over the twigs. He listened as she was whistling melodies for them to repeat, remembering how she and Armin taught them to sing whatever they wanted.

He thought of his life inside of the walls, walls that dived his district from the outside world, where it was forbidden to go. Freedom was a luxury, which was paid with your life.

“Let’s run away.” he pronounced. 

“Eren, what are you talking about?”

“Let’s just run away, me you and Armin,” he answered as he took her by the shoulders. “We will take him out of that horrible orphanage, we could make a living by hunting, far away from the walls, no reaping, no soldiers controlling us, no more seeing how our people is killed each day.”

“You know we can’t do that, Eren.”

“Why not? Everything would be-”

“If the soldiers found us they would kill us instantly. Me, you and Armin, even your mother. They would do it in front of the whole town.” she reminded him, and she was right, they couldn’t just follow his impulses. 

No, but he didn’t want to stay there, he couldn’t stand to be trapped inside as of he was an animal, where they are starving, serving as a form of sick entertainment for the capitol. “Let’s just go, we need to get ready for the reaping.”

And that was the moment where his inner fire came out to show how different he was from Mikasa. A small spark that was lighting up. “No! I don’t want to keep on being inside these walls, I don’t want to stay as a servant for them, Sina can go fuck itse-” A punch landed on his face making him go quiet. It was a blessing that water can turn off the flames. He glared at her, whose face was stoic. “What the fuck is wrong with you?”

“You know what will happen if you don’t attend the reaping, Eren.” she said, pulling him by the arm. 

Eren reluctantly followed her. Putting his hand over his face where Mikasa hit him, letting go of her grip, walking behind her.

x.x.x.x.

He was in the bathroom drying his hair with a towel, watching as his mother brushed Mikasa’s long, black hair, tying it up in a braid. Sitting next to them, there was Armin, the three of them talking and laughing.

They were surely trying to forget about the reaping for a while. And he hated that small spark of hopelessness. Of knowing he, or his best friends could be picked out of the teenagers of the town to fight to death to feed the Capitol’s sick sense of humor.

“Eren, you better hurry.” he heard Armin.

“I’m almost done,” he replied, and he finished to button up his shirt. He got out of the bathroom, taking his jacket and he got out to catch them up.

“Armin, wait,” Mikasa reached her hand to the blonde’s back, pulling his belt. Eren knew what she was doing. The shirt was so big it was getting out of his pants, forming a little duck tail. “You’re ready, little duckling.” she announced with a warm tone as Armin chuckled lightly. 

“How many times will your name appear this year?” Eren asked Armin.

“I’ve been making sure it appears only once,” Jean replied proudly as he walked, putting his arm around Armin. “I hope this bastard is making Sure yours doesn’t show up more than once.” he spat to Mikasa, obviously talking about Eren. 

He clicked his tongue. “She doesn’t need me to take care of her,” he snapped. “She can take care of herself.” Eren felt as his mother pulled his ear.

“How many times do I have to tell you, you both must look out for each other, you little insolent?” Carla scolded the brunette who was clearly in pain.

The other three giggled at the scene, trying to ignore the following event. They arrived the long line. 

Carla said her goodbyes to her son and her “other kids” as she called them. She walked to the crowd who were behind a fence.

There were two lines: one for men, the other one for women. The four of them were looking at each other, as if it was the last time they’d do it. It could be, none of them knew what could happen after, no one knew what the destiny held for them in such a cruel world like this.

Mikasa came before them, as there were less women than men in the 12th district. 

This process consisted in taking a blood sample, which they analized in order to have their information, such as name, age, distric and how many times their name would appear. The reaping was an obligation. Not assisting meant capital punishment, no matter the reason.

Each and every name of all the teenagers from the district, males and females where put in a bowl, which was shaken in order to mix them, then, a person sent from Sina randomly took one and read the name of the tribute to participate in the Hunger Games.

The Hunger Games took place in Sina. A male and a female from each district would participate, fighting to death. 24 tributes, of which only one would win. The reason? reminding people they had to obey the capitol. 99 years ago, there was a rebellion against the government of Paradis, it all started with the (now extinct) 13th district, who got up in arms to fight Sina, encouraging the other districts to protest for their rights. The government attacked, destroying what was one the 13th district. Ever since then, they decided to start the hunger games, to remind them the government had control over them and it didn’t matter what they wished for, they decided who lived and who didn’t.

 

Each year they would randomly pick their tributes, young people from ages twelve to eighteen. The names of the tributes could appear more than once, like Jean’s case, whose name would appear 20 times this year. The reason? This year he would be asking for tesserae for his family and to help Armin. Those consisted in tokens worth a meager year's supply of grain and oil for one person. Asking for one meant your name would appear one more time for each family member. Jean’s consisted in him, his mother and his younger brother. It wasn’t like he needed it much, as he hunted along with Mikasa and Eren, but he compromised himself with helping Armin, who lived in the orphanage. It was well known along the people in town that they would let kids die from starvation just to save up money. Jean, nor Eren or Mikasa would allow that. Armin’s name would only appear once, they would not let him ask for a tessera.

As for Eren and Mikasa, their name would appear only one time. That is thanks to Carla’s bakery and Mikasa’s knowledge in farming, also because of them hunting. That way they could make a living without depending on tesserae.

Eren opened his eyes as he felt the sting of the needle, watching as the device took the blood sample. He saw his name on the screen, as well as his picture and information. The soldier told him where his line was. He walked along with Jean who stood next to him. He eyed Mikasa on the other side of the field. Her eyes on the ground. And even through her stoic face, he could see she was scared. He knew everyone was.

He looked forward to Armin’s line. He was standing there, quiet and silent. Armin was way shorter than him, he was thinner as well. More delicate. Jean and him had made an agreement for his protection. They would not let him go to the hunger games if he happened to be selected.

Armin was intelligent. But unfortunately, it wouldn’t be enough to survive, even their physical abilities wouldn’t be enough for surviving. They both agreed they’d make sure Armin reached his goals. He always said he wanted to become a doctor. And they would help him get the chance to study and get out of Shiganshina to go to Sina, get a scholarship and see the ocean.

His dream was the least selfish of them all, that is why they would always protect him.

x.x.x.

Hanji Zoe got out of the door, her fluffy ponytail making its presence like each and every year, her eccentric self and her huge glasses were what made people instantly know she was from Sina.

She walked on the stage clumsily turning the microphone on, tapping a few times to make sure it was working. She stood there holding a piece of paper from where she would read the same speech she read year to year.

Eren decided to ignore it, turning his gaze to Mikasa, who was clenching her fists, she was shaking. There was nothing he could do, he knew she was scared. That was one of the few times he saw an emotion from her. Then he turned to Jean, who was staring at Mikasa with worried eyes, waiting for this to end. They were just fifteen, they had to wait for another three years for their names to get out of the lists. 

Then he turned to Armin. He was shaking. “Just once, he is not going to be picked, nor Mikasa”. He thought.

Hanji finished her speech, he could see the images from the rebellion on the screen, with a recorded voice telling the story from the government’s side. “Alright, we got to the part where things are gonna get… interesting,” she announced. “we will start with our young gentlemen this year, isn’t it exciting?” Her crooked excitement made him feel sick, how could she be so heartless that such a horrendous wicked game caused her such joy? Did she really enjoy selecting people as if they were livestock sent to be killed?

Eren crossed his fingers on both hands and closed his eyes, he was praying. If there was a god, he prayed for Armin to be safe, out of all the people there, Armin was a kid full of dreams, he was fragile. His heart rate increased as he watched Hanji’s hand mixing the papers inside the bowl.

“And this year’s tribute is…” she squealed. Eren opened his eyes abruptly. Everything was silent and he could only hear her voice. “Armin Arlert.”

Eren felts as if his world was falling apart, he tried to scream but no sound came out, he looked at Jean who was broken, he couldn’t react, he turned to Mikasa who was shocked with thick tears streaming down her face, then he looked at Armin who was walking short steps, he was scared with his hands shaking and he could see the fear in his eyes. Hanji was speaking but he couldn’t hear a single word, he only knew his feet began to walk fast and faster against his will coming out of the crowd as two soldiers rushed to stop him. “I volunteer!” he screamed without thinking.

The whole crowd turned to look at him right away, Carla was screaming, trying to run behind her son and soldiers had to stop her. He didn’t think of anything else, he got up and stood next to Hanji, taking place where, a few seconds ago, Armin was. He was held by the soldiers who were putting him off the stage. He was trying to make them let go of him, screaming this was a mistake, he was picked as this year’s tribute, but no one would listen. 

Hanji put an arm around Eren. “Looks like we have a brave one this year who didn’t want this honor to be taken by someone else.” she chuckled ironically with no answer from the crowd.

Eren looked at Mikasa who was standing still, shaking. Shit, he could even see how her slender legs could betray her any second to let her hit the ground, and he couldn’t go pick her up. He looked at Armin who was crying and Jean who tried to comfort him helplessly. He looked at his mother who fell to the ground. God, he only wished to be next to her and ask Mikasa, as a last favor, to take care of here, to take care of Armin and herself.

“And, tell us, what is your name?” she asked.

Eren barely looked at her. “Eren. Eren Jaeger”, he replied with a cracked voice.

“Great, brave Eren, could you tell us why you decided to volunteer? Were you jealous of all the attention Armin was having?” she asked as her face was close to his. Hanji clicked her tongue when she didn’t get an answer. “Now, let’s move on to pick our female tribute.” She put her hand inside of the bowl with a subtle pink shade.

Eren could only hear as a known girl got out of the crowd. She had a blue dress and long, black hair. She was standing in the middle. His eyes wide open and he felt as his legs went weak, his chest felt heavy at the very moment he heard her scream.

“I volunteer!” he heard Mikasa scream from her place, raising her hand, looking straight at him.

“Oh, lord, I wish Reiss could see this.” She cheered. “Just look at how brave this district is.” She was excited, bouncing her heels on the floor. Her boots making a sound every time they hit the floor.

Mikasa shyly got up, standing next to Eren.

“Mikasa…” he whispered, looking at her with worried eyes.

She looked at him, giving him a sad smile, as if she was trying to cheer him up.

“So, young lady, would you tell us your name?” Hanji asked.

“Ackerman. Mikasa Ackerman.” She said with a reedy voice.

“Okay, sweetie. Tell us, why did you volunteer?” she asked. Mikasa tried to speak but Hanji took the microphone from her. “Whoops!, look at the clock, I should be heading to the eighth district.” She excused herself as she turned the device down. 

She hurried to get off the stage, as the military police was dragging them through a door at the town hall. It was a small room with two sofas, behind them, Carla, Armin and Jean entered.

“You have ten minutes.” A soldier announced.

Carla hurried to hold her son in a tight hug, crying on his shoulder.

Armin went with Mikasa, and she was holding him, telling him to promise her to never ask for a tessera, giving him the empty promise that they’d both come back, that everything would be alright. As always, putting the others first.

Armin let go of her to let Jean be the next one hugging her.

On any other occasion, Eren would’ve punched him for daring to touch her without her consent. Mikasa would’ve pushed him, but she knew that this was most likely the last time he could ever do it. Jean was crying like she never saw him before and he was begging her to take care of herself, to come back alive.

Mikasa was shocked, without knowing what to do, until Carla approached her to hold her. “My precious girl,” she cried. “you need to promise you’ll take care of each other.” She begged, even though she knew they had to fight one against the other.

“You don’t have to ask, aunt Carla,” she replied. “I’ll protect Eren, no matter what.”

And he couldn’t just look at her, he couldn’t say a thing. 

Jean approached Eren, putting his hands on his shoulders. He was looking into his eyes for the first time, without anger, no intentions on doing so. “Promise me you’ll take care of her,” he whispered. “promise you will.” He repeated.

Eren was shocked, he was surprised when he got on his knees as his legs betrayed him, leaving him on the ground. 

“Jaeger, you need to promise you’ll take care of her, promise my dear Mikasa will be safe and sound, don’t let her die there.” He begged.

Mikasa couldn’t say a thing. No one could, no one dared to promise him such thing. It was an erratic world, and that was an erratic, sick game where the value of life was reduced to a simple bet. Life was reduced to a simple kind of entertainment, and drams were left in the arena, and they meant nothing, friendships were turned into betrayals.

“Eren, I am so-“he tried to say in between his sobs.

“Don’t be, it isn’t your fault.” he tried to comfort.

“Please, both of you come back,” he said. “I know you’ll find a way.”

Eren couldn’t just promise him such thing, he couldn’t just tell him they’d do it and come back.

“Jean, please, don’t let Armin alone.” He said to the ash haired guy. 

In that moment, the military police came into the room, taking both the brunette and the rave haired girl by the shoulders.

“Your time is over, now get in the train.” They ordered.

His feet moved against his will. He didn’t dare to look back. Not even his mother, nor Jean or Armin. He didn’t even dare to look at Mikasa.


	2. The Train

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks, thanks, thanks a lot to Iliana, without you, this would've taken a lot longer. Thanks for translating this.
> 
> Please, remember we're not native speakers, so expect some grammatical errors.

They took the train that would drive them to the capitol. Despite the speed, the road was going be long.

Maybe in another situation, it would be an exciting experience; it would be exciting to be able to be leaving the small and forgotten district to go to the capitol, the big city, but there they were, sitting face to face. Just the view of all these excessive ornaments around the whole cabin made them cringe, they didn’t even feel like walking around to explore the rest of the train.

 

None of them spoke in the three hours they were there. Mikasa remained with her stoic expression, looking through the window at the landscape, drawing with her finger on the tarnished glass. Eren's gaze was constantly shifting, from the ground to Mikasa, from Mikasa to the floor, from the floor to the door, from the door to Mikasa; repeating that cycle, over and over again, as he fidgeted with his hands. None of them dared to break the silence, perhaps the emotions were too much to just process them, to be able to digest what had happened.

 

 _“How can she be so calm?”_ Eren thought, looking at the raven-haired girl's stoic face, how these onyx orbs of her were staring through the glass. It almost made him lose his patience, he really hated that deadpan on Mikasa's face, the one that made her so hard to read. It was often impossible to realize what she felt. Unless she openly expressed it, no one would know what was really going through her mind.

 

"Why?" he dared to break that ice barrier that they had unwittingly built. "why did volunteer?" He asked with a small degree of annoyance. "You could have stayed with Mom, with Armin, living a quiet life, not here, not like this, Mikasa." Mikasa turned her gaze to him, lowering it immediately. She didn't answer, she didn't speak.

 

"Mikasa, I'm talking to you." He repeated, this time he was annoyed, he was upset. The raven-haired girl opened her mouth, but no sound came out. Her lips began to tremble. Her hands on her head, in sign that a headache had begun. She hid her face behind the red scarf she always wore, her bright, black eyes staring at him.

 

He hadn't seen such an expression in years, he thought he had forgotten it, that he would never see it again, but memories of that time came to him, passing through his mind, overwhelming him.

 

**x.x.x**

_Seven years ago._

 

There was a thunderstorm that night. He and his father hurried to get home. He had wanted to go to work with his father. He longed to see the great Dr. Jaeger in action, accompanying him to the monthly medical appointment he gave to Mrs. Johnson, an old woman that lived in the district.

 

He ran with his father, keeping up with his pace, when the loud sound of a thunder stopped then. The blinding light so close, so close to them that they swore it could fall on some tree. Grisha opened his eyes, looking for the impact point. A house in the south. Almost on the edge of the wall.

 

"Son, I need you to run and get someone to help," he asked, getting on his knees to see him straight in the eye. "go quick!"

 

Eren remained motionless, watching as his father ran towards the house that burned in flames. There was no one outside since it was late at night. Not even a soul. Eren ran. He was faster than his father, anyway.

 

"Eren!" Dr. Jaeger called him, trying to stop the child from running as fast as his legs could.

 

Fast. He had to get there fast.

 

There he went, that little boy who liked to stick his nose in what wasn't none of his business.

 

He stopped in front of the burning house, peeking through the broken windows, looking for anyone who needed help. And he looked at her. That paled-skin, slender creature. She was lying on the floor, face up and eyes closed.

 

"Shit, no!" He gasped when he saw her. He ran to where she was, entering through the fallen doorframe, beware of the flames. He walked fast, diligently, using his scarf to cover his nose from the smoke.

"Eren!" he heard his father shouting from far away. "Eren, come back!"

 

He approached the motionless body of the little girl, slightly shaking her. But she wasn't reacting.

 

"Ackerman!" He cried, trying desperately to wake her up, coughing. He knew there was not much time left, despite his young age, he knew all that, in such a cruel world there was no room for innocence, there was no room to live a full childhood.

 

  **x.x.x**

"Mikasa ..." he said, getting on his knees in front of her so she could see him better. Her eyelids closed tightly, frowning at the headache. "Mikasa, are you ok?" He asked, even though he knew the answer. She didn't speak, she was silent, her hands covering her face, shaking her head.

 

 

He tried to carry her on his shoulders, but he was still very weak, he was too weak to lift her up, choosing to take her slender arms, putting them around his neck, and with his back he carried the weight of the little girl's body.

 

She was heavy, heavier than he expected, but he did his best to get her out, making his way through the flames, the flames that without mercy, took the structure of the house as their own. The girl's eyelashes began to flutter, as she slowly opened her eyes.

 

The smoke she breathed made her cough, scaring the little one who carried her on his back, as he accidentally let her go. The girl fell to the ground, letting out a painful moan. He tried to lean with his arms to get her up from the ground, his eyes lost in those cruel flames that had taken everything. She remained motionless, feeling the pain of the burns on his skin, looking down.

 

Eren didn't take his eyes off her. He was starting to feel a disturbing discomfort when he saw how she was giving up, how she stayed there so as not to move. So he glared at her, frowning, with burning and intense eyes.

 

"Let's get out of here! Don't you see that this is going to fall down?" He pointed at the raven-haired girl seemed not to hear. "Let's get out of here, we have to get out-" the flames began to burn with more intensity before he finished his sentence. One of the wooden house pillars - already charred - fell on his arm, causing a great pain, a strong burn. And he was weak, he was so weak that he could not get rid of it, so weak that he couldn't move from there, no matter how hard he tried.

 

"Get out of here, run," he said, with a weak voice to the girl in front of him. "You have to fight to live." And she just opened her eyes, watching him not asking for help. No. He was asking her to save herself.

 

"If you don't fight ... you can’t win!" He said in a thin voice, coughing from the smoke. "If you win, you live. If you lose, you die. If you don't fight, you can't win!" He was still struggling to get the wooden pillar off, the heat burning the palms of his hands. Something about his words made her come to herself, something that made her get up, covering her nose with the thin fabric of her nightgown as she tried to breathe.

 

She went to him, looking at him close to lose his consciousness; she pushed that heavy pillar, taking it off him. Everything he looked at was fuzzy, just a blurry image of a white bulge among all that hellish surroundings. And suddenly, he passed out.

 

 x.x.x

"Mikasa," he repeated. With no answer as before, he took her by her wrists, lowering them, revealing her face. "Mikasa, look at me." He insisted. The bright obsidian eyes opened, uncovering the tears she tried to hide, and they looked like a couple of ink puddles. Dark, bright eyes that looked at him, that reminded him of those he looked at so long ago. Those who seemed to beg for help, even without saying words.

 

She was strong. He was stronger than him. However, it was only on the outside. Inside, she was still that girl. Maybe she had been strong for so long that she ended up collapsing.

 

"Mikasa, here I am," he said, squeezing her slender wrists, "here I am."

 

 x.x.x

When he woke up, he was outside the house. The downpour extinguished the flames all over the house. His father was under a tree, covering both children from the rain.

 

He opened his eyes and watched as he took care of the little girl's burns, taking out some jars and instruments from his briefcase, putting gauze and bandages on. His burns had already been treated.

 

"Fortunately, none of them are serious, kid." He heard his father explain, leaned into his arms to sit up. "You just need to take care of them daily, and don't scratch them, okay?" He asked, with a bittersweet voice. He watched as the girl with the stoic face nodded. "Oh, Eren. You finally woke up." He ruffled his hair, examinating his face for a while. When he finished, he gave him a small pat on the head. Eren let out a painful moan. "This is for risking your life without thinking!"

 

"I had to, or she would have lost her life in the fire," he objected. "I wanted to save her, father."

 

His father sighed, there was nothing he could do to stop him, right? Little Jaeger was like that, always jumping into action.

 

"Do you have anywhere to go, Mikasa?" his father fell on his knees, staying at her eyes level as she clung to the jacket that he put on her shoulders.

 

The girl shook her head, her black eyes fixed on her savior, so open, that they made her look like an abandoned puppy.

 

"My mother was the only family I had left. I don't have a home, I have no one." she mumbled, trying not to cry. "I'm cold, and I don't know where should I go now."

 

The tears that threatened to come out made her eyes even brighter, as bright as a lake reflecting the moon. Her mouth trembled, unable to utter a word. Somehow, those eyes seemed to beg him to save her. Eren walked over to her, removing the scarf from his neck to wrap it around her, awkwardly covering her.

 

"It's warm, right?" He asked with a subtle sweetness, his cheeks flushed. "Come on, let's go home, to our home." He said as he took her little hand, so carefully not to hurt her.

 

 

 x.x.x

"I never wanted this to happen, Eren" she said, sobbing. "I always watched to protect you, to protect you and Armin, but here we are." Eren looked at her with concern; how was it that someone as strong as her could break as if falling piece by piece? "I'm scared, Eren, I'm afraid of losing you." she confessed. Eren opened his eyes, as tears threatened him to go out.

 

Self-control, he only asked for self-control so as not to cry in front of her. Not when she was so vulnerable, not when she needed him to be stronger.

 

"You won't lose me," he said, so hypocritical of him to promise, even when he himself didn't believe he could survive. He got up, letting go. He didn't dare to look her in the eye. He couldn't do it after lying to her. "We'll both get out of this, you'll see." He promised, turning his back to leave through the cabin door.

 

 

Just looking at the wagon made him feel dizzy. To think that its cost could provide sustenance to his whole district was just repulsive. To think that this was his "consolation prize" for being chosen to die was unbelievable.

 

"Fuck it," he spat as he sat on the couch in the middle of the car.

 

He looked up when he heard the noise of the door being opened by the guardians who were careful not to let them escape.

 

"Hey, boy," a blond-haired man greeted loudly. He was carrying a bottle in his hand, maybe with some liquor, judging by his appearance. His walk was awkward, he staggered as he took a step, his cheeks and eyes red and his voice almost unintelligible. He was clearly drunk. "Ready to be trained like pigs for slaughter?" He scoffed, and then, he started to laugh.

 

Eren grimaced, frowning.

 

"Who the fuck are you?" He asked defensively, furious at the stranger's teasing. The man raised his hands, making the famous jazz hands, dropping his bottle in the process.

 

"Oh, shit," he complained. "Someone will have to clean this up, and it certainly won't be me." He shouted, addressing the servants from the capitol who accompanied them, who cleaned up his mess with no hesitation.

 

Eren felt even more furious and confused; was it a kind of sick joke sent from Sina?

 

"I am from now on your life teacher, kiddo. I'll be your mentor and the other girl's mentor. You better show me some respect if you want to win," he said, sitting lazily on the sofa in front of him, putting his feet on the coffee table. "You should know me, I've been the only winner in your district, you... Ernest?"

"Eren." he corrected immediately. Hannes clicked his tongue, disdainfully.

"Whatever, go and call Misaki, I should tell you how things will be from now on."

"Mikasa." He corrected again, getting the same reaction from a while ago.

 

He made his way to the cabin, taking unsteady steps. He released a long sigh before touching the door, waiting for Mikasa's answer.

 

"come in." she said with a thin voice. Eren did as he was told, her obsidian eyes not looking off the ground.

"Eh, Mikasa, our mentor ..."

"Hannes Alistair, isn't it?"

"Uh, yes. He wants to talk to us."

She nodded, getting up to put on her scarf and leave, following Eren's footsteps to the sofa, sitting in front of the drunk who had fallen asleep.

"Hannes ..." Eren called, but he didn't get an answer.

Eren was never a patient person, he was the opposite. His patience was almost non existent, especially in these moments, when it was something important. Eren didn't wait to get an answer, so he kicked the drunken man lying and sleeping on the couch; Mikasa tried to pull him by his arm, but, surprisingly for both of them, Hannes threw Eren to the floor, trapping him in a lock with a single hand.

 

"Eren!"

"Did you think you could get away with it cause I'm drunk, you useless boy?" the blonde man scoffed as he saw the brown-haired boy struggling. "Look at yourself, you're a weakling. A wimp scum like you has no chance to win."

 

A wimp like him, who was always beaten by the bullies who attacked Armin, a wimp like him, who always had to be saved by Mikasa. He would never have a chance against the other tributes. But he must be able to; he promised to take care of Mikasa and himself, didn't he?

 

"Let me go."

"Let yourself go," Hannes replied, applying more force. Mikasa glared at him, about to act. "Ah, ah. Don't think that I will stop just because you are a girl. First rule, always treat your mentor well, brat."

"Now let go of me!"

"Second rule: You'll pay attention to what I say, it also applies to you, Mikasa," he said as he let go of the boy. "Sit down, the journey will be long." he pointed.

 

"What will be the plan?" The raven-haired girl asked.

"Simpatize with your public. Ta-da!"

"Eh? be serious at once!" The green-eyed boy replied.

Hannes gave a mocking laugh, crossing his arms. "Don't you understand yet? They want a show, give them a show and you'll win." He snapped.

"A show?"

"Make them feel sorry for you. Make them want you to win, so they will sponsor you."

"No way!" He said again. "I'm not going to become their clown." He got up from the sofa, annoyed, heading to the cabin, slamming the door shut. Mikasa sat there, unsure of what to do. Black eyes pinned to the ground, then looking at Hannes.

"Look, little one, this is the plan. Listen to me carefully."

 

 

Eren was lying on the seat, feet on the wall, arms crossed and frowning. He was alone. He was upset.

 

Since when did Mikasa leave him alone? What on earth would she be talking about with that lazy ass? How is it that this drunkard had managed to win the Hunger Games? He couldn’t even walk straight, how could he subdue him like that?

 

He was about to get up to go to them, but, Mikasa entered at that moment.

"You finally came," he snapped.

"I was talking to Hannes."

"I noticed. So?" He asked, sitting down.

"First we will arrive at the dormitories where we will stay for six weeks during the trainings. They will do some tests and they will score our skills." she explained.

"skills?"

"Yes. Afterwards, we will do the tribute parade and we'll give some interviews with Hanji on live broadcast."

"I hate this." He mumbled, his face resting on his hand.

"Me too." she muttered, lying down on the seat, wrapping her arms around her knees.

 

 x.x.x

Eren woke up with the sudden brake of the train, falling from the seat he was resting on. He noticed that Mikasa wasn't there, so he got up immediately to look for her.

 

"Mikasa!" He shouted, peeking through the door. "Mik-"

"Eren?" she asked, standing up from the couch with a glass in her hand. In front of her, was Hannes.

"Finally, you woke up!" Exclaimed a nearly melted Hannes on the couch. "I was asking Mikasa about your skills."

"skills?"

"Mikasa told me you were good with the bow and arrow."

"Actually, I'm not that good." He expressed modestly, scratching the back of his neck.

"You're not that good? He had managed to shoot at squirrels that I wasn't even able to see," Mikasa said. "Almost no shot has failed to him since we learned how to use it."

"Well, I see that at least you have a talent, Eren. What about you, Mikasa?"

"I ... well ..." she mumbled, unsure.

"If we made a list of Mikasa's talents, it would take us all day." Eren joked, sitting next to Mikasa.

"It's... no big deal, honestly." she said in a low voice, with a slight blush, fixing her hair behind her ear.

"To begin with, she's very strong, even more than many men in the district," he said. "She's also very good with the bow and arrow, and she fights better than any bully. She's also good to sneak away with no noise and-“

"Are you done praising your girl?" Hannes scoffed. Mikasa hid her face behind her scarf, while Eren frowned.

"You asked about Mikasa's skills! Don't you remember, old man?"

"Easy, kid. What you just told me is exactly what I want you to show the judges today. I want you to analyze the other tributes and find their weaknesses," he explained. "Stay together and don't think about making allies, much less with professionals."

"Professionals?" they asked at the same time.

"Tributes of districts 1 and 2. They are trained since kids to compete in the Hunger Games. They tend to be little assholes and will attack them from behind when you least expect it."

"What about the others?" Eren asked.

"They won't help much. Just don't make alliances, not even between you two." He warned.

"Why not?"

"You should be smart enough to know that if you two are alive, you won't want to fight each other." The sudden reminder made them open their eyes in surprise. Looking at each other with horror. Eren swallowed, remembering his nightmare, with the horrible feeling that it would come true.

 

No.

 

This was the kind of scenario he wouldn't want to have to live, he did not want to have to live his nightmare in his own flesh. He wouldn't be able to fight his best friend, nor would she be able to fight against him.

 

"If the alliances are discarded. Are we lone wolves then?" Mikasa asked.

"Just hide between the trees and pay atenttion to changes in the sand."

"Basically, hiding like cowards." Eren replied.

"I call it survival instinct." Hannes corrected.

 _"Or cowardice",_ Eren thought.

"We have to get down here, children. Remember what I said. I'll see you at dinner time." His mentor waved them goodbye, as he hurried out of the car.

"Surely he'll go to buy alcohol," Eren rolled his eyes. He moved forward, not knowing for sure what to do, with one -unusually- scared Mikasa clutching his arm firmly.

 

 _"Remember it, you have to be brave for her, you have to be brave,"_ he repeated to himself.

 

"Welcome to Sina." He heard a tweeting voice coming from outside the car. Hanji Zoe herself, approaching them, with a camera recording everything. "Tell me, how are the two favorite tributes of the public?"

"F- Favorites?" Eren asked.

"Oh, please, modesty aside, children. Since you appeared, the public loves you for your bravery," she commented. "You top the raking lists!"

 

They both blinked, confused.

 

_"Don't you understand? They want a show, give them a show and you'll win."_

Eren remembered what Hannes told them, with a forced smile, walking after Hanji with Mikasa still clinging to him.


	3. Chapter 3

They arrived, making their way through the bunch of people crowding them, chanting their names. At this point, they would call them the brave miners, for their district's economic activity. Of course, they weren't allowed to say that, in fact, they were hunters, as it was strictly forbidden. The would even get a public death penalty.

"We're here, kids. Make yourselves at home." Hanji announced as she opened the door of a fancy apartment. "Please go wash yourselves. Hannes will arrive in a minute. Your rooms are in the hall. You are lucky you get the privilege to get the best ones of them all for being the last district."

None of them bothered to keep on listening to her. They didn't want to come off as rude, but, they had more things in mind than a stupid apartment.

Eren saw Mikasa walking through a door that had her name written with golden lettering on it. She disappeared in the darkness of her room. And he entered his own room.

He closed the door behind him, turning on the light. His room was even bigger than his entire house in Shiganshina. There was an enormous bed that was neatly made, with blue-gray blankets. His luggage that was sent from his hometown was on top of it.

He sat on bed as he took a note that was attached to his belongings:

"Please take care of each other. Be safe and protect yourselves as much as you can. Please, son, come back safe and sound. With love, mom."

He took the note and tossed it to a trash can. Not that he hated his mother, not at all, but, the thought of that if, hypothetically, the both took care of each other, surviving until no more tributes are left, they'd have to fight each other; only one of them could be the victor. It made him bitter, and it hurt him. He would never be able to fight her, let alone kill her. They grew up together, living under the same roof for nearly six years. He couldn't even think of hurting her. Of course, they fought each other in the past, physically and verbally, but this was totally different. This wasn't another silly fight with his best friend, triggered by some stupid misunderstanding anymore, but a battle to death, where only one of them could make it home, if one of them hypothetically won.

He opened his luggage, finding some of his old clothes, some pajamas, his favorite blanket and a collar from which, a key was hanging of. A gift from his father before the accident. He laid on his back, holding the collar up to look at it.

x.x.x.

"Can I go with you?" asked the excited little boy who was wearing that helmet that was too big for him -as it was his father's-. He jumped on his place, looking at how his father seemed like a hero to him, one he admired. His father was a hero who saved lives, and he wanted to be like him one day.

"Seems like someone feels like exploring the mines today." Grisha answered as he took the helmet off him "I'm sorry, buddy, but today will be a hard day and I need you to take my place for today at home."

"But I don't want to explore. I want to save lives, like you." He replied with a disappointed tone in his voice, staring at the ground, moving his leg side to side with his arms crossed. Grisha sighed at his own son's obstinacy; then took the collar with a key hanging of it off him to put it around Eren's neck.

"If you want to be like me so bad, you'll take my place and take care of Mikasa and your mom. Today I'll be very busy. Remember that, whenever you have the key, you'll take my turn, got it?"

"Got it." Said the brunette, young Jaeger, with his mouth pouting. He took the collar that felt heavy on him and looked at it for a while. It was a simple copy of the key to his house, but, to him, it was some sort of scepter that gave him that much authority.

"That's my son." He said with a calm tone and then ruffled his hair. "say goodbye to mommy for me, and I don't want to hear you were messing with Mikasa again, okay?"

"Mhm." He nodded, watching as his father walked away to the mine, where he had to attend those victims of different types of accidents, caused by the poor conditions they had to work in. No security equipment, no insurance. They all had to risk their own lives to bring a little bread to their family's tables.

x.x.x.

He let the key fall on the bed, remembering the way his mother broke down crying when she opened the door, to find the bad news instead of her husband.

He took his clothes to go take a shower, trying to hurry for Hannes would be there only for a while and he needed to know what the plan was. The Do's and don'ts

Walking out of his room, he spotted Mikasa sitting on the sofa. She was wearing a soft smile as she was chatting with Hanji. For his surprise, they seemed to get along. It was long ago since he saw her smiling like that, but then he noticed those sad, tired eyes.

He knew she was crying.

"I see you are finally joining us." Hanji pointed out.

"Yeah, yeah. Where's Hannes?" he asked as he was faking apathy. Mikasa looked at him, hoping he would get that discreet sign of hers; she was pointing to the couch where Hannes was sitting with his leg over his knee with a bottle of whisky in his hand.

"Poor thing waited for so long he went to have a drink." said the brunette lady with an obvious sarcastic voice.

"Looks like the young little princess decided to go out of his room." Hannes spat.

He held all of those insults he wanted to say to him as he caught Mikasa's gaze. As if she silently asked him to calm down. He bit them back as he sighed and sat on the couch.

"What is the plan? What are we gonna do?" Eren asked, ignoring Hannes' joke.

"Just be charismatic." He replied as if it was something stupidly obvious. Eren arched his brow, not being able to believe such answer. Was it some kind of sick joke? Not some fighting techniques, not some survival tips, self-defense advice, nothing.

"Do you think this is a fucking child's game?" he asked "they are gonna throw us into an arena to kill us as if we were nothing and you only tell me to be charismatic! Do you think our lives are a damn toy?! Now that I mention I see why there hasn't been any other winner from Shiganshina. You are nothing but a useless drunken bastard!"

"Eren!" Mikasa watched as the green-eyed boy walked away to his room then shifted her gaze to Hannes, who burst into laughter, his face reddening for the alcohol and the lack of oxygen, mocking Eren's rant, but Hanji didn't seem to be so entertained. She didn't hesitate to elbow him on his side.

Mikasa left the living room, following her friend to his room, where a loud noise came from –a slam of a door-.

She stood there, letting a sigh escape from her lips before she knocked on the door. "Eren." She called his name in a whisper. Her voice, as always, was as quiet and soft as her own self, but, that didn't make Eren not hear it. He listened to her call, and didn't hesitate to open the door.

But he didn't speak. She only needed him to roll his eyes and see the expression on his face to understand what he meant, for he wasn't good with words. He has never been.

She looked back at him with worried eyes. She couldn't help it. In a few weeks they would be thrown into an arena to die with no right to quit. The Capitol's wicked wishes demanded innocent blood to be shed, without any of them asking, paying for someone else's sins.

Why would them?

"Tomorrow we're going to have to go to that boring ass show."

"I know, but, you know that we have to do that, Eren."

"How can you be so calm knowing that we're only mere entertainment for those stupid people?" he asked "they're going to be sitting on their asses, watching us on TV, making fun of us while we die. That isn't fair! Why do we have to do this? Why are we even still here?!"

Maybe he was right.

"Do you think it is so easy to just run away from here?" she asked with a firm voice "you know what could happen to us, to our family if we even thought of escaping."

"Then the only fucking solution is to die anyway"

She couldn't keep on talking.

She sat on his bed, staring at the key lying there. Then she took it in her hands, feeling nostalgic as she looked at it. He sat next to her with sad eyes, staring at Mikasa's expression while she looked at the key, balancing side to side. The gleam on her eyes was gone.

"Do you think Dr. Jaeger is watching over us? I mean, from wherever he is…"

Eren wasn't the type to believe in that sort of stuff. In fact, he never believed in that paradise that people said the deceased ones went when they passed away to live forever in it. But Mikasa seemed to do it."

She used to look up to the sky when she remembered her parents. He noticed that she did it every night while praying before going to sleep, and she did it now as she talked about Grisha.

"Maybe." He let out a sigh.

"Promise me that, no matter what happens, you're gonna do everything to survive."

He couldn't speak. He looked down.

"Only one of us is going to come back."

"but-"

"Promise me."

Again, words couldn't come out of his mouth, he shifted his gaze to a random spot on the room, avoiding her, but he let out a soft gasp when he felt her hand on his, holding it tightly, forcing him to look at her without saying a word.

She got up as she felt defeated for not getting an answer. Looking at Eren before walking out of the room.

.x.x.x.

They didn't see each other in all day. Mikasa seemed to be avoiding him. Maybe it was due to the activities they had before the show, but she avoided him even in her free time.

Even though he appreciated that she wasn't babying him as if she was his mother, the vagueness of the situation was overwhelming. He needed his best friend and it hurt him to admit it for he was too proud to admit that he needed her.

What was he going to do there? How should he act?

He sighed as he saw the last strand of his bangs being cut, falling on the floor.

"You're ready" said the redhead with a ringing voice. Even though she irradiated positivity, he was still down, frustrated for nor knowing what to do. He was trapped in this mess with Mikasa following him, with little to no hopes of returning home or even surviving one day there.

"Uh, Petra…" he called her name. She was chosen to be his and Mikasa's stylist. Usually, people from the capitol seemed to be always over the top when it came to their looks. Always colorful, shiny clothing; bright makeup, and big, over the top hair styles, but there was something different about her: she seemed… normal.

It was such an irony that her simple, plain, natural looking self, made her stand out from the crowd. Shoulder length, straight, orange hair that she kept loose, with just a headband to keep it away from her face. Her face without a single drop of makeup aside from the light mascara on her eyelashes. Petra had been particularly sweet, treating him as a person, not an object.

"Yes?" she replied as she put the scissors back into their place.

"I… Just… it is just that-"

"You're nervous, aren't you?" and she guessed right. Eren opened his eyes in surprise.

"How did you-"

"I've seen so many kids like you year by year, all of them with the same expression," she explained with a smile "my best advice is to always be yourself."

"Be myself?" he asked. Petra nodded her head "but I'm not friendly, ore ven likeable. I don't understand how I could possibly attract a sponsor."

"Well, you made me smile," she mentioned, making him blush lightly for the compliment "you have that… how do I say it?" she put a finger on her chin, thinking "you have some kind of spark, Eren. You have been your true self all this time, haven't you? Don't try to be something that you're not, don't try to make them like you, just go out there and show them what you're made of. They are gonna take away everything you have once you are inside that arena, but the only thing you will have left is your identity, don't lose it." She said as she fixed the black jacket he had on, giving him the final touches before going out. "You're ready."

"Am I?"

"Just remember that I said, ok?"

Eren got up, decided to go out there, where the rest of the tributes were. Petra pushed him lightly so that he got out.

He got in the line with the rest of the kids that would go before him. They were practicing their forced lines and faking smiles, while he leaned on the Wall, trying to ignore that bunch of fake people. He looked to the opposite side, finding a shy Mikasa. His eyes opened in surprise and his jaw dropped when he saw her walk in.

She was beautiful.

The skirt of her long, red dress danced along the movement of her long legs as she walked. He could see she was uncomfortable with the high heels she was wearing –making her look even taller than she already was-, but that didn't make her less pretty. Her long she was cut a lot shorter. It was now chin length, with that stray strand falling on her forehead. Her lips had a crimson color, matching the scarf she always had on.

"Are you ready?" she asked

"Well…" he shook his head.

The show began.

He looked at the professionals laugh and talked to each other. They were Annie Leonhardt, Bertholdt Hoover, Reiner Braun and Zophia.

He stared at them. They knew what they were doing, he could learn a thing or two from them. After all, they were prepared for this moment. They were trained for this.

As Bertholdt, the shy, tall guy walked through the door, he turned to look at the screen in the room, watching was the sweaty, nervous guy fidgeted with a string that hanged from his shirt.

Hanji asked some basic things, things that no one even cared about but, for some reason, they wanted to hear. People sitting on their butts, staring at him and clapping, reacting to him. When his interview ended, Bertholdt was on the verge of crying, but he was holding it back.

Then it was Annie's turn. He noticed she was totally different, she was cold, she wasn't charismatic at all, but, somehow people liked her. He saw it on their faces, on their reactions, complimenting her.

Tributes would come and go, with fake smiles, with memorized lines they pronounced in automatic. He compared their faces before, during and after their interview. All of their smiles and positivity were fake. Manufactured.

Until it was his turn.

"Ladies and gentlemen, we have heard different stories, and different nice kids, haven't we?" the audience agreed with chants "Last but not least, we have the 12th district!"

Hanji made a sign with her hand, telling Eren that it was time to come out. He reluctantly walked a few steps, insecure, taking a deep breath before going on air, closing his eyes for the lights were too bright they hurt his eyes. His breath hitched a little, but as he heard the applause, he managed to calm down a little. He looked at the audience, focusing on the redhead sitting in the first line, who was smiling, giving him a thumbs up.

"This is Eren Jaeger!" she announced with a high-pitched tone. Eren waved his hand as he sat next to her, who started moving her mouth, but no words came out of her mouth, nor he could made them up as he tried to read her lips. "right, Eren?" she asked, finishing her question, leaning to him a little.

"huh?"

"the crowd burst into laughter as they heard the confused brunette who looked around nervously.

"I was asking about your first impression, when you first came to the capitol, pretty different from Shiganshina, right?"

"It is a weird place, I guess." he answered as he looked to the audience, looking for the redhead who was putting both indexes on each corner of her mouth, telling him to smile. He got the signal and inmediatly did as she said. "In fact, the people there is very different."

"I know right? But, the real question is: why did you volunteer? What was the reason why you decided to put yourself in that boy's place?" she asked. Eren's smile faded as he remembered the panic of seeing as Armin was mentioned, covering his mouth with his hand, feeling like his stomach would betray him, he would throw up in that moment. "I'm sorry, I think we shouldn't have-"

"Armin is my best friend." he finally answered "I couldn't just let him come… I just couldn't."

An aww in unison was heard from the audience, feeling sorry for the poor kid. Faking sympathy for the miner who risked his life for his best friend.

"very touching." She pointed out "Did he say goodbye before you left?"

Eren nodded his head.

"what a story. But, let's start with less tragic stuff." Hanji smirked, leaning to him. "is there any girl in Shiganshina, you know, waiting for you?"

"No." he answered immediately, flustered. Hanji just let out a little laugh.

"This was Eren Jaeger, ladies and gentlemen."

Eren walked out as fast as he could.

"Eren, that was-"

"that was horrible, Hannes!"

"Come on, kiddo, that wasn't so bad. You made people feel sorry for you." He spat.

The frustrated brunette let out a sigh as he saw Mikasa shyly walking to the door.

"She looks like a newborn doe." He thought as he saw her struggling to walk, laughing a little.

He stood next to a smiling Hannes to watch her interview. Mikasa looked radiant, almost glowing. So confident she almost seemed like a totally different girl from the shy, quiet Mikasa he has always know.

Hannes was proud, crossing his arm. He resembled an artist contemplating his master piece. A work of art completed with all of its glory.

Eren arched his brow, confused by those events, but not looking away from the TV screen, watching as Hanji and Mikasa were chatting, even laughing.

"Is this really Mikasa?" he asked himself.

"Oh, Mikasa, you are so funny, I love you," Hanji expressed "Guys, isn't she lovely? Look at how adorable she is!"

The audience cheered. Claps and chants flooding the whole room, worshipping the girl in the red dress.

Mikasa smiled, with her beaming, starry eyes squinting.

Eren had an unamused look on his face. "Hannes, what the hell is wrong with her?" he asked with annoyance.

"She's the best tribute I've ever had in all these years." He replied with pride.

Eren rolled his eyes and then put his attention back into the TV.

"Tell me more about Shiganshina. Is there any guy waiting for you to come back? Any boy in your mind?" she asked with a smirk.

She looked down with a slight blush and a revealing smile.

"There is a guy I like a lot…" she confessed, getting a surprise reaction from the crowd, even from Eren.

He furrowed his brows, spitting insults that no one got to even understand. He turned to Hannes who had an ear-to-ear smile that made Eren get even angrier. As if he was mocking him.

"That fucking horse ass jerk! I fucking knew he had a thing for Mikasa! HOW COULD SHE NEVER TELL ME?! I am going to return home and I'm gonna beat his sorry ass!" he ranted "That son of a bitch, that is why he was crying when we were leaving." Eren turned his eyes back to the screen. Cursing Jean under his breath.

"Oh my god! Does he know?" Hanji asked with a curious face.

"I don't think so. I've never told anyone, and I don't think he ever noticed."

"But you are such a pretty girl, isn't she, guys?" she asked the people there, who agreed, clapping and throwing compliments, chanting.

"I guess he never saw me that way."

"Let me tell you something. If you come back as a winner, I am sure that him, and every guy in the district will go mad about you."

"I don't think that it would be possible." She said with sad eyes.

"Why?" Hanji asked.

Mikasa's smile faded.

"Because he came here with me."

Hannes snorted as he watch the crowds go wild, feeling sorry for Mikasa's sad answer. But Eren wasn't so amused. He couldn't believe it. All the raging emotions overwhelming him. He felt pressure on his chest, impatient. He had to talk to her.

As soon as he saw her stoic face when she walked into the waiting room, he pulled her by the arm, angry.

"What the fuck was that?" he barked.

"Come on, Eren, she's doing you a favor" Hannes spat as he took Eren's hand off Mikasa's arm.

"A favor? That's bullshit!" Eren argued.

"You have a horrible personality to begin with, brat, she's making you seem likeable."

"What the heck?" He thought

Eren saw her walking away, walking barefoot to the car for they were too uncomfortable. He groaned in frustration, walking fast, following her.

"Mikasa!" she shouted to catch her attention, but he was ignored.

Eren arched an eyebrow, crossing his arms feeling outraged. Mikasa was ignoring him? It was a whole new concept for him, he wasn't used to it and certainly he didn't want to. Mikasa would always be with him as an obvious presence, so obvious, so constant that he stopped noticing her, until he felt her absence.

"Hey" he called trying to go behind her, but Hannes stopped him.

"Come on, leave her alone" Hannes commanded as he pulled him by the arm.

x.x.x.

Silence.

Silence was reigning at that moment, and the room was its kingdom. He hadn't seen Mikasa since she walked away from him, ignoring him.

"Ernest." Hannes pronounced with a bottle of liquor in hand.

"Eren." he corrected instantly as he was picking on his plate with the fork.

"Whatever. Just eat."

"Where is she?" he asked, annoyed, with no interest for Hanji's squeals for every little damn stupid thing and her constantly calling him out for his manners at the table. Did it really matter?

"Where is who?"

"You know who I am talking about."

Hannes snorted, leaning his face on the table without letting go of his bottle. Hanji gazed at him, annoyed for his uncontrollable desire to drink until he lost consciousness. She shook her head and then pointed out to Mikasa's room.

Eren got up from the table, leaving Hannes to laugh until he couldn't breathe. He sighed before he could open and look into the room.

There was no one.

Eren entered to make sure she wasn't laying in bed as she would; cuddled in fetal position, hugging her legs, as if it would make her disappear.

The only thing he found on her room was that red, old scarf that seemed to be glued to her skin, as if it was her own limb, that she used to hide her face behind when she was embarrassed.

Why did she take it off?

He heard a noise coming out of the bedroom that made him skip a beat. What would she think about him for entering her room like that? What she said back then was real? What did he even think about Mikasa?

There was an infinity of questions he was asking himself, torturing him for his ignorance, begging for answers.

"Eren?" she pronounced as she dried her hair with a towel.

Eren didn't answer, he only sat there, staring at the red cloth in his hands.

"About today I-"

"I know. Part of the strategy." He interrupted as he ran his fingers through the scarf "It is somewhat damaged." He pointed out.

"A little." She answered with a neutral tone. But her stoic tone vanished when she felt the warmth of the cloth falling on her shoulders and being wrapped around her head. She looked up to see the emerald eyes centered on the scarf.

"It is cold. You should cover up or you'll get sick."

Mikasa looked down to see the messy scarf around her neck, but, it was okay, because he was the cause.

"Mikasa."

"Yes?"

"Don't lose yourself." He asked, worried.

"What are you talking ab-"

"If we are gonna…die," he cringed "lose everything, I want us to keep the only thing they can't take away from us." he explained as he walked to the door "If I die, I don't want to lose my best friend." He pronounced to walk out, closing the door behind him.

"Yes, Eren."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel terribly sorry for taking this long to update.
> 
> Expect the new chapter soon. Thank you so much for your kind comments and patience.


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